Sometimes we have to say ‘no’

Image Courtesy : Lindsay Patterson

Rajesh was a successful businessman. He could make many swift and the best decisions which were in favour of his organization. He was bestowed with various awards by many business associations. But he suffers a lot in his personal life as he was not able to say ‘no’ to his father. When his father compelled him to get married to a girl, he became so dumb. He was not interested to get married. But finally, he married the girl only to value his father’s words and he utilized the opportunity by showing his affection on his father. His munificence towards his father prevented him to express his desire or expectations on nuptial. At this moment, one year passed after his marriage, he goes to court to seek divorce and his life has become stressful completely. He could not attend meetings; concentrate on business. The shadow of his personal life crawls into his professional life and affects considerably. 

This is just an instance of a man who miserably failed in his life for not able to display his side clearly by saying ‘no’ at an appropriate time. His incapability created a declivity on his business and converted his father as bedridden. 

Here, there is no difference between Rajesh and us. A physical structure may differ from one person to another. Rajesh is a symbol of everyone. Many of us were or are reluctant to say ‘no’ strongly. We could see Rajesh in the mirror not physically but mentally. Many of us by and large felt bad soon after missing the opportunity to say ‘no’.

Rajesh could have avoided this muddle by strongly saying ‘no’ to the proposal and later his father could have been convinced. His cowardly act shook the relationship with his father. 
Whoever reluctant to say ‘no’, they normally think they could please others by saying ‘yes’.

It is our life. We have to live our life the way we want. If we get confused among affection, pleasing, etc., we will end up with more troubles. Saying ‘yes’ is easier than ‘no’. Both words are small in size, but it contains our aspirations. So our desire must be expressed properly without any shilly-shallying. Keep in mind, whether we say yes or no, we are solely responsible for the repercussions.


No need to think of saying ‘no’ will project ourselves as rude and resentful. There is nothing like the person who says yes is good-hearted and no is stone-hearted. People sometimes connect this with a positive and negative mindset. It is an expression of our opinion. When we are requested to comment on something, a determined person will definitely express whatever he or she believes.

Saying ‘no’ will absolutely project you as a courageous person. But perpetually keep in a view on relationships and say yes could end up losing our identity. If we have a habit of saying yes, at one point in time people stop soliciting our opinion from us, they will presume ours is ‘yes’. Sometimes ‘yes’ could create problems and confusion but ‘no’ could safeguard us. It does not mean saying no for everything and everyone. Saying ‘no’ means giving more control and more value to you by yourself. 

We have to make it as a habit to say no to anything which is not going to produce happiness or create any positive atmosphere.

Why do people always say ‘yes’?

  • Saying yes is easier than no.
  • Don’t want to hurt others’ feelings.
  • Don’t want to upset others.
  • Want to prove kindness to others.
  • What others will think of me if I say ‘no.’
  • We don’t want to have a quarrel with others.
  • This has become a habit.
  • Why should we get caught by always saying yes?

Benefits of saying ‘No’

Project you as strong

Saying ‘no’ will bring out a strong and more confident person. You can start thinking about yourself as a strong person in front of others and will others do so.

More Respect

You will respect yourself and people do not like much about your activity but gradually they can understand you and the power of ‘no’

More time 

You can save your time by saying say ‘no’ for unnecessary invitations and maintain distance from negative people. If you feel attending any party or any get together is killing your time, then you can certainly say no to that. This will generate more time for what you love to do.

Proper Relationship

Saying ‘no’ would yield or set proper relationships. People who do not want to get ‘no’ from you, will move out of your circle whereas people who can understand your ‘no’ will connect with you. They will recognize your limits of supporting others. Hence, the relationship with others would be robust.

So if you want to be so strong, analyze the situation and cultivate the habit of saying ‘no’. 

©2020 Murali

73 thoughts on “Sometimes we have to say ‘no’

  1. Again sir I enjoyed your writing. The importance of saying no was the topic of a podcast I listened to recently and so it was interesting to me to find your blog on the same topic.
    I enjoyed the organization of your blog and some of your vocabulary especially such as: munificence, muddle, shilly-shallying, repercussions, and robust.
    I thought the light blue in the list of points would have have stood out better in a different colour font.

    I agree with the importance of no. Some cultures simply don’t like saying no, but not mine. When someone says Yes, then you take them at their word and believe them. When you find out later that their yes was not the truth then there are problems, including broken trust.
    Let your yes be yes and your no be no. People will respect both responses from you.

    1. Thank you very much Sir.
      I’m really honoured by your words and happy that you liked it very much.
      Your detailed comment has given some responsibility to bring out the best of me to my readers.
      Thank you once again.

  2. Great post Muralikrish! Saying no is difficult at first especially if you are a people pleaser. But it definitely gets easier with time. Like a muscle… it needs to be worked!

  3. Great post Mura! Saying no is one of the most difficult skills to learn yet so important. We most of the time are trapped in the idea of keeping a good image in the eyes of others. This can be detrimental!

    I wrote a post on 12 effective ways of saying No. Do find time to check it out.



  4. This is a good post. There are time we have to say know. For the right reasons this can be a good practice. Saying no can help us maintain our moral principles which can be compromised if we allow ourselves to lead by unprofitable request.

    1. Sometimes some people expect ‘yes’ from us.We should be very careful when we mingle with them.

      Thank you very much for your valuable comment.👌

  5. An acquaintance, not a friend, asked me to buy a $200 gift card for her niece’s birthday because she was having temporary problems with her credit card. I don’t know this lady that well and know nothing about the niece or even if they are close.It was easy to say no to such an unexpected and possibly sketchy request. Still wondering why she asked but don’t want to know her any better to find out the answer.

    1. Yes. This is very embarrassing moment in anyone’s life.But before saying yes or no, weighing all options maybe an ideal one. Yes or no is not going to be a permanent reply for all of us. That’s why this post suggests that sometimes we have to say no.

      Anyway thanks for stopping by.👏👌

  6. You have opened the eyes of those, who get stuck in relationship and for the sake of that relationship they are not able to say no . This has happened with me also . I also agree with you that saying no will solve the problem.

    1. I agree with you but sometimes we have to say no. It depends on the situation.
      If it’s habitual saying ‘yes’, there will be no value for our ‘Yes’.


    Bonjour ce matin, Que le soleil soit rayonnant ou qu’il pleuve

    Le jour nous invite à sourire à s’émerveiller
    Prenons le temps respirer

    Prenons aussi du temps pour nous
    Arrêtons -nous quelques instants pour mieux repartir

    Je vous offre ces quelques mots de douceur avec gratitude
    De bonne humeur en éclats d’énergie , telles des pépites de vie

    Que leurs bienfaits rejaillissent sur vous
    Belle journée à tous et à votre famille

    Prenez soin de vous Bisous

    1. Thanks for your comment.Since I do not know French I had to translate your comment to English using online language translator.
      Thanks once again.👌

  8. Yes, I agree. It’s important to know when to say no. All of your benefits to saying no are very good. Valuable truths.

  9. Yeah..we should learn to say ‘no’….in a healthy way..sometimes we have to….god post 👍🏻..thankyou for stopping by and the follow 👍🏻

I'd love to hear from you.